Sex and the City is still, to this day, one of my all-time favorite shows.
Nearly two decades old, the show remains insanely important. The show armed me for harsh lessons about relationships, friendships, money, and the mistakes that Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda would consistently make. Besides the fashion trends, the most memorable thing about the show is its depiction of single women in society.
One of the many life lessons that I learned from my favorite fictional fashionista, Carrie Bradshaw, is knowing and understanding the 3 different types of 'settling'.
Carrie said: ‘Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less'
Let's discuss the three:
Settling down: Every relationship is unique.
Ladies and gents, when you are ready to settle down, make sure that the terms of your relationship are perfectly tailored for you and your partner. Do what works best for the both of you.
“We were perfectly happy before we decided to live happily ever after”, says Carrie. As soon as Carrie and Big decided to make huge wedding plans, their relationship began to hit a few roadblocks ... because it wasn’t them. Unlike their outrageous initial wedding plans, their relationship was simple…intimate…and easy. Deep down, they wanted their nuptials to honor that simplicity.
Instead of writing out long vows, the couple decided to both repeat, "ever thine. ever mine. ever ours." This line from Beethoven's letter "Immortal beloved" addressed to his soulmate reflected on the fact that 'he is always hers as she is always his and they are for each other forever'…which was a perfectly tailored vow for Big and Carrie.
Annnddd instead of the traditional wedding ring proposal....Big got on his knee and places her foot in a pair of blue Manolo Blahnik's. And if you know Carrie (like any SATC fan would) we know that this gesture was perfect for her.
Every relationship is unique, cling to and appreciate that uniqueness.
Settling: Know your heart.
If you're not sure about a guy/girl or you're certain that you are not ready to take the next step, don't drag on the situation forever.
This is the mistake that Carrie made with her ex-beau Aidan. Despite Aidan being the most rational choice for Carrie, it was clearly obvious that she was settling. Without a doubt, Carrie did love Aidan…however, she knew in her heart that he wasn’t the man for her. The worst thing you can do is string someone along when you know in your heart that you don’t want to be with them. Ultimately, this is why Carrie cheated on Aidan with Big. She knew in her heart, that he wasn't the one for her.
Knowing what you want, knowing your heart, and following your heart can save everyone unwasted time and emotions.
(Not) Settling for less: Love should be BIG
Many may not agree with me, however, I agree with Carrie on how love should be big, grand, and swoony....even throughout the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Despite all of his back-and-forth, we all knew that Mr. Big was Carrie's big true love. Although we watched Mr. Big put Carrie through a lot, somehow I always found myself rooting for their relationship to work. It was like they were hand-crafted for one another. No matter how mad I was at Big for something he did to Carrie I knew that Carrie would never be truly happy with anyone other than him.
If someone is not living up to your standards of how you want to be loved, you have the right not to be with that person. Be with someone that meets and/or exceeds your expectations.
Sex and the City taught us a lot of valuable lessons and as we sit back and watch the show during the different stages of our lives, our opinions may stay the same or change as time progresses. However, one thing will remain the same, when you are with your loved one and you are about to settle down, make sure that you aren’t settling or settling for less than what you want.